It has been two days and I am still fuming. I’m seriously upset at both my in-laws and my parents. Here’s what happened:

We were shopping at Target in the check out line with my in-laws in front of the shopping cart, the baby playing around inside the shopping cart, followed by my mom behind the cart and me behind my mom. There was a lady and her friend in front of us checking out, and the lady starts talking to the baby and making motions asking him to go to her. I was on a work call and told my mom not to let her pick him up. This lady keeps talking to him and keeps motioning, asking, “Do you want to come with me?” and then after a little bit, proceeds to pick him up from our shopping cart, hug him close to her and smother him in kisses, and she does this twice. I watch these 3 adults who are supposed to protect their grandchild as they stand their immobilized, with body language admitting they know I don’t like what’s happening, but they are too afraid to take my child back.

This infuriates me. It’s not like it happened out of nowhere and they didn’t see it coming! There were hints–so many hints! And they still allowed it to happen. I expect them to resolve it by taking my child back but they don’t. They pretty much waited until the lady decided to hand him back because she had to go pay. I said to them, “I can’t believe 3 adults can’t even keep the baby from getting taken by a stranger. What if he was kidnapped?” No one cared–well actually, they said, “It’s okay, nothing happened.” Well, what if something did happen? Then what?! Your body language showed you were not ready to block her from running away. In fact, she had a clear path of escape if she wanted to.

I just want acknowledgement! I want them to acknowledge that they will not allow something like this to happen again, but they will not. They just keep saying it’s okay and no big deal. My FIL even said something to the effect of, “Babies no one wants to kiss are babies not worth having.” To which I really want to say, “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” but I held my tongue out of respect and not creating more drama.

Why was there more drama? Because my dad was probably updated on what happened by the three of them and he came to yell at me and ask me why I didn’t stop it if I didn’t like it. Well, because, they let it transpire, they need to know how to resolve it! And the answer is, they don’t. Which leads me to decide that they will never take my child out without my supervision. Sure, I’ll re-evaluate once he can talk in fully formed sentences but that won’t be for a while.

I even asked my MIL if she would allow a stranger in the street to come up to her, hug her and kiss her all over. She said she wouldn’t. So I asked her why is it okay for her to allow that to happen to my child? And what does she say? Well, I wanted her to say, okay, I understand now. But no. What she said was, “Well…she probably thought he was so cute so she wanted to hug and kiss him.” I said, “Well, what if someone thought you were so pretty and wanted to hug and kiss you?” She still admitted she wouldn’t allow it.

SO WHY IN FUCKING HELL DO YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN TO A CHILD WHO CANNOT SPEAK FOR HIMSELF AND CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF?

My husband wasn’t there, I told him what happened, his parents told him it wasn’t a big deal, he can’t side with either of us because he didn’t see what happened. Of course his parents would say it was nothing, because to say otherwise is to admit they were wrong, and apparently they refuse to do that.

I HATE THE GRANDPARENTS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

I will probably still be pissed until the four of them acknowledge why I am upset. Acknowledgement goes a long way…and right now, I don’t want any of them near my child.

It’s so upsetting that I need to go back to work in a few days and I am supposed to trust my child why lying grandparents–yes, the same ones who will touch garbage and then try and touch the baby and tell me their hands are clean–the same ones who will lie about food not having any salt when in fact it does, and still try to feed it to him. And these same people ignored me today when I tried to discuss how to care for him while I am gone.

I really wish I could say to them: I hate you so much right now. I honestly don’t trust any of you with my child at all. You ignore things that are important to me, you lie to my face about things that are important to me–if I didn’t live with you, I probably wouldn’t want to see you that often, hence my desperation to find a new home.

Nothing like the joy of walking with a boba in hand

I’m a boba drink addict. I love food, but there’s just something about that perfect cup of boba that stays with you and keeps you happy until the next one.

Maybe boba is my coffee.

I remember the days when I was pregnant, and luckily for me, it was a fairly easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, nada, none, zilch! Cramps? What the heck are those? Although I should say I must be one of the fortunate ones to rarely have cramps, if ever. I remember a friend whose cramps were so bad she wouldn’t be able to move and would be in tears from the pain and the migraines that came along with her period. And I would think to myself, “Really? Can’t be that bad….” But as I’ve grown up to realize, yes, for some people it is that bad.

Anyway, aside from sciatic pain that would shoot down the legs and bring this pregnant woman to her knees, pregnancy was pretty uneventful for me–except this one time when I was thought I was going into labor but it was just gas. What a story that was!

So, ladies, I know pregnancy is tough as we are going through it, but I can assure you that when it comes to food cravings, or boba cravings as in my case, those cravings are so much easier to satisfy when the little one is inside versus when he or she is out here.

I used to be able to just get up and go–although as I hit my 9th month I usually had a friend come with, but I was able to go pretty much whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted. Now? Nope, not gonna happen. A crying baby in the car with no one else except me and I’m the one driving just isn’t going to work.

So, boba drinks which used to be an every other day thing, became a once a week thing and then became an once every two week thing during pregnancy (no milk, 30% sweetness), is now a “who knows when” kind of indulgence.

But today, TODAY I got my first drink! Baby and all! And the parking angels gave me a spot at the end of the block and even though it’s a Friday night at 6p, my boba fairy cleared the line for my arrival only for me to see 20 people go into after me! *phew*

And you guessed it, it was a wintermelon crema, 30% sweet, no ice from I-Tea. I was really wanting to try something new, something different–but what if I didn’t like it? And there were so many things I wanted to try, like the hot ginger milk, or matcha smoothie with red bean, but I stuck with the wintermelon, simply because I had it before From I-Tea and it didn’t disappoint.

I couldn’t very well risk my first trip in ages to get something I may not like! My favorite is actually Jasmine, but theirs isn’t good.

We shall see what drink lies in store next time.

I’m faced with such a dilemma, and it’s been looming over me. Any advice and/or feedback would be greatly appreciated.

I currently live with my in laws, and they are wonderful people, however, when it comes to my baby, they are too much and I don’t know how long I can tolerate being around them on a daily basis with them having near free reign to my child. The issue is that despite their good intentions (I’m assuming), we do not have the same parenting styles and I find them too possessive and overbearing of my child, which at many times, they seem to act like is theirs. Or maybe it’s just a clash of personalities. Oil and water are fine on their own, but now with baby here, oil and water just can’t mix.

So I am faced with a dilemma: stay at home and raise BobaBaby with all the ups and downs of a new baby and lose my financial independence, or go back to work so BobaDad and I can afford to get our own home and move out faster? But that means leaving the precious baby in the crutches of the in laws during his most vulnerable and fundamental times of development. Which not to say is detrimental, but “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” mentality, and  I really feel the first years are most crucial!

And there is nothing wrong with having sitters, however, it is difficult being the control freak that I am to find someone who is a stranger that I’m supposed to trust with the baby. And say I do find this special someone, it will not be without cost. So then, is it better to spend the cost on a sitter while I go to work, or just do it myself? I’ve always been a do it yourselfer, and I don’t know if I would want to give up baby and me time to someone else. But it is probably more that I can’t and won’t be able to bring myself to hand over baby.

And with getting a sitter will also be complicated in that it will be seen as a great insult to the in laws that we’d rather entrust our child–who in their minds is probably more accurately referred to as “their grandchild,” (because at times BobaBaby seems like he belongs to them more than he belongs to his actual parents)–than to family.

Which then reminds me of a saying I’ve always found to be of wisdom: never do business with family. You really can’t make the same demands or “fire” them once they’re hired.

What have those of you faced with a similar decision decided to go with? Give up career or place on hold to raise baby? Or continue career and have baby looked after by a sitter or family? Any advice? How did it go, would you do anything differently? And if faced with my situation, what would you choose?