It has been two days and I am still fuming. I’m seriously upset at both my in-laws and my parents. Here’s what happened:
We were shopping at Target in the check out line with my in-laws in front of the shopping cart, the baby playing around inside the shopping cart, followed by my mom behind the cart and me behind my mom. There was a lady and her friend in front of us checking out, and the lady starts talking to the baby and making motions asking him to go to her. I was on a work call and told my mom not to let her pick him up. This lady keeps talking to him and keeps motioning, asking, “Do you want to come with me?” and then after a little bit, proceeds to pick him up from our shopping cart, hug him close to her and smother him in kisses, and she does this twice. I watch these 3 adults who are supposed to protect their grandchild as they stand their immobilized, with body language admitting they know I don’t like what’s happening, but they are too afraid to take my child back.
This infuriates me. It’s not like it happened out of nowhere and they didn’t see it coming! There were hints–so many hints! And they still allowed it to happen. I expect them to resolve it by taking my child back but they don’t. They pretty much waited until the lady decided to hand him back because she had to go pay. I said to them, “I can’t believe 3 adults can’t even keep the baby from getting taken by a stranger. What if he was kidnapped?” No one cared–well actually, they said, “It’s okay, nothing happened.” Well, what if something did happen? Then what?! Your body language showed you were not ready to block her from running away. In fact, she had a clear path of escape if she wanted to.
I just want acknowledgement! I want them to acknowledge that they will not allow something like this to happen again, but they will not. They just keep saying it’s okay and no big deal. My FIL even said something to the effect of, “Babies no one wants to kiss are babies not worth having.” To which I really want to say, “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” but I held my tongue out of respect and not creating more drama.
Why was there more drama? Because my dad was probably updated on what happened by the three of them and he came to yell at me and ask me why I didn’t stop it if I didn’t like it. Well, because, they let it transpire, they need to know how to resolve it! And the answer is, they don’t. Which leads me to decide that they will never take my child out without my supervision. Sure, I’ll re-evaluate once he can talk in fully formed sentences but that won’t be for a while.
I even asked my MIL if she would allow a stranger in the street to come up to her, hug her and kiss her all over. She said she wouldn’t. So I asked her why is it okay for her to allow that to happen to my child? And what does she say? Well, I wanted her to say, okay, I understand now. But no. What she said was, “Well…she probably thought he was so cute so she wanted to hug and kiss him.” I said, “Well, what if someone thought you were so pretty and wanted to hug and kiss you?” She still admitted she wouldn’t allow it.
SO WHY IN FUCKING HELL DO YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN TO A CHILD WHO CANNOT SPEAK FOR HIMSELF AND CANNOT DEFEND HIMSELF?
My husband wasn’t there, I told him what happened, his parents told him it wasn’t a big deal, he can’t side with either of us because he didn’t see what happened. Of course his parents would say it was nothing, because to say otherwise is to admit they were wrong, and apparently they refuse to do that.
I HATE THE GRANDPARENTS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
I will probably still be pissed until the four of them acknowledge why I am upset. Acknowledgement goes a long way…and right now, I don’t want any of them near my child.
It’s so upsetting that I need to go back to work in a few days and I am supposed to trust my child why lying grandparents–yes, the same ones who will touch garbage and then try and touch the baby and tell me their hands are clean–the same ones who will lie about food not having any salt when in fact it does, and still try to feed it to him. And these same people ignored me today when I tried to discuss how to care for him while I am gone.
I really wish I could say to them: I hate you so much right now. I honestly don’t trust any of you with my child at all. You ignore things that are important to me, you lie to my face about things that are important to me–if I didn’t live with you, I probably wouldn’t want to see you that often, hence my desperation to find a new home.