I’m faced with such a dilemma, and it’s been looming over me. Any advice and/or feedback would be greatly appreciated.
I currently live with my in laws, and they are wonderful people, however, when it comes to my baby, they are too much and I don’t know how long I can tolerate being around them on a daily basis with them having near free reign to my child. The issue is that despite their good intentions (I’m assuming), we do not have the same parenting styles and I find them too possessive and overbearing of my child, which at many times, they seem to act like is theirs. Or maybe it’s just a clash of personalities. Oil and water are fine on their own, but now with baby here, oil and water just can’t mix.
So I am faced with a dilemma: stay at home and raise BobaBaby with all the ups and downs of a new baby and lose my financial independence, or go back to work so BobaDad and I can afford to get our own home and move out faster? But that means leaving the precious baby in the crutches of the in laws during his most vulnerable and fundamental times of development. Which not to say is detrimental, but “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” mentality, and I really feel the first years are most crucial!
And there is nothing wrong with having sitters, however, it is difficult being the control freak that I am to find someone who is a stranger that I’m supposed to trust with the baby. And say I do find this special someone, it will not be without cost. So then, is it better to spend the cost on a sitter while I go to work, or just do it myself? I’ve always been a do it yourselfer, and I don’t know if I would want to give up baby and me time to someone else. But it is probably more that I can’t and won’t be able to bring myself to hand over baby.
And with getting a sitter will also be complicated in that it will be seen as a great insult to the in laws that we’d rather entrust our child–who in their minds is probably more accurately referred to as “their grandchild,” (because at times BobaBaby seems like he belongs to them more than he belongs to his actual parents)–than to family.
Which then reminds me of a saying I’ve always found to be of wisdom: never do business with family. You really can’t make the same demands or “fire” them once they’re hired.
What have those of you faced with a similar decision decided to go with? Give up career or place on hold to raise baby? Or continue career and have baby looked after by a sitter or family? Any advice? How did it go, would you do anything differently? And if faced with my situation, what would you choose?